Senior Year 06: Uncivil War
by Wild Pikachu
Summary: Mike and Jane find themselves caught in the middle as the tension between Brooke and Sam rapidly decends into open warfare; Josh and Lily visit an unorthodox marriage counselor.
1. Teaser

**Notes:** _(Re-edited and re-uploaded September 2010)_

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**Guest Cast:**  
Mr. Osbourne: Erick Avari  
Dr. Donahue: Richard Picardo  
Clarence: Mike Damus

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**Formatting:** The main differences between the way the episodes are presented here and true script format are that on this website, everything is left-justified, while script format has specific block-margins for dialog, etc., and that scripts are still traditionally printed in Courier (monospace) font. These episodes are also available on my Popular website (link is in my info) if you would like to read them as though they were printed scripts.

**Legal whatchamacallit:** Pre-existing "Popular" characters and situations are ©1999-2001 Touchstone Television, et al. For what it's worth, original material is ©2001-2010 by yours truly, the Wild Pikachu. Please don't steal this without asking first.

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**POPULAR: SENIOR YEAR**

**UNCIVIL WAR**

TEASER

FADE IN:

INT. MCQUEEN LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

Fleischer is huddled with his cell phone; Harrison is  
fidgeting, looking lost; and Sam is taking in the scene with a  
faint air of disgust. Meanwhile, Jane takes Mike by the arm  
and pulls him aside.

JANE  
(low)  
Mike, how COULD you?

MIKE  
It wasn't even in the house.

JANE  
It was close enough! How did  
Brooke even know where it was?

MIKE  
Brooke's always known.

JANE  
If I'D known, I'd've insisted you  
throw it in the ocean.

MIKE  
I know.

Fleischer snaps his cell phone shut, which gets everyone's  
attention. Mike and Jane step back into the group.

FLEISCHER  
Okay, it's going to take them a  
few minutes to set this up.

He turns to Harrison.

FLEISCHER (CONT'D)  
Are you ready?

HARRISON  
Uh—y-yeah.

FLEISCHER  
Okay.

HARRISON  
Uh...what if—what if it doesn't  
work?

FLEISCHER  
(grimacing)  
Let's not think about that.

CUT TO:

EXT. KENNEDY HIGH ATHLETIC FIELD

On the grassy knoll overlooking the field, Brooke is sitting  
cross-legged, methodically loading bullets into the chambers  
of the revolver, when, from over her shoulder:

CLARENCE (O.S.)  
You really don't want to do that,  
Brooke.

Brooke whips her head around, to find Clarence sitting on his  
haunches next to her.

WHITE OUT.

END OF TEASER


	2. Act One

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. KENNEDY HIGH ATHLETIC FIELD - CONTINUOUS

BROOKE  
Clarence! Are you...?

He points to himself quizzically, then shakes his head.

CLARENCE  
Naw, this time you're just  
imagining me.

Brooke's expression sours, and she refocuses her attention on  
the gun.

BROOKE  
Go away, then.

CLARENCE  
(insulted)  
What, just because I'm a figment  
of your imagination, we can't  
talk? I can't give good advice?  
I'm, like, your conscience.

BROOKE  
(not looking up)  
I've seen "Pinocchio". You don't  
look like Jiminy Cricket.

CLARENCE  
Very funny.  
(pause)  
You DO know you don't want to do  
that, right?

BROOKE  
Don't tell me what I don't want to  
do.

CLARENCE  
Okay, I understand how you're  
feeling right now—

BROOKE  
How do YOU know what I'M feeling?

CLARENCE  
I'm inside your head, remember?  
Your relationship with Harrison is  
in ruins, your relationship with  
Sam is DOA, she's run off to  
God-knows-where and everybody  
thinks it's your fault...

Brooke turns and glares at him.

CLARENCE (CONT'D)  
What I'm saying is, this too shall  
pass! You're talking about a  
permanent solution to a temporary  
problem.

She studies the revolver clinically.

BROOKE  
I like this solution. It's quick,  
it's painless...

CLARENCE  
How do you know it's quick and  
painless?

BROOKE  
I saw it on TV. It's like  
flipping off a switch—one second  
you're here, and the next—

She snaps her fingers.

CLARENCE  
You're gonna believe everything  
you see on TV? You could miss,  
you know. The bullet could wind  
up lodged in your cranium, and you  
could wind up a semi-vegetable in  
excruciating agony for the rest of  
your life.

BROOKE  
(with finality)  
I won't miss.

CLARENCE  
I don't know... I think you're a  
little jumpy—

Brooke's cell phone rings, jerking her back to reality—in  
fact, startling her so badly that the gun jumps in her hands.  
Grimacing, she digs the phone out of her bag and flips it  
open.

BROOKE  
(into the phone)  
Hello?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. MCQUEEN LIVING ROOM

Specifically, Harrison, who is on the other end of the line.

HARRISON  
Brooke?

BROOKE  
(tiredly)  
Harrison, this really isn't—

HARRISON  
Look, I'm—I'm sorry about running  
out on you before, okay? I was a  
little frazzled.

BROOKE  
I understand, Harrison. It's not  
your fault.

HARRISON  
Hey, I wanted you to know that  
they found Sam, and she's fine.  
She's back home, so, you know,  
everything's fine.

To the side of Harrison, Fleischer is making a "keep-it-going"  
motion with his hands, while Mike and Jane look on closely.

BROOKE  
(flatly)  
Good. I'm glad.

HARRISON  
(improvising)  
So, anyway, Sam's fine, so, you  
know, nobody—blames you for  
anything, or anything. You know?

BROOKE  
Sam's home?

HARRISON  
Um, yeah, safe and sound.

BROOKE  
Did you talk to her?

HARRISON  
(looking over at Sam)  
Sam and me? Ah, yeah, we, um, we  
talked. Sure.

Sam rolls her eyes and turns away with a low snarl.

HARRISON (CONT'D)  
So, um, look—where are you? I  
mean, I think we oughta meet, you  
know, and, um...talk.

BROOKE  
You should fix things with Sam.  
That's what I think.

HARRISON  
Uh, Brooke, I—

BROOKE  
I really...there's something I  
have to do. So...

HARRISON  
Hey, wait, um—

BROOKE  
Just...concentrate on Sam. You  
two should...be happy.

Sighing, she snaps the phone shut.

BROOKE (CONT'D)  
(whispering)  
I love you, Harrison.

CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

HARRISON  
Brooke?

He takes the dead phone away from his ear and shakes his head  
helplessly. A moment later Fleischer's phone rings; he has it  
open instantly.

FLEISCHER  
(into the phone)  
Yeah?...

Mike, Jane and Harrison form a semi-circle around him.

FLEISCHER (CONT'D)  
(to everyone)  
They got it.

Expressions of relief break out as Fleischer listens.

FLEISCHER (CONT'D)  
(into the phone)  
What—? A grid number doesn't do  
me any good—give me an  
address!... Okay, at least a  
street, then!  
(looking up)  
Somewhere northeast of here, off  
Highland.

They all look at each other.

HARRISON  
School.

Mike is already breaking for the door, with Harrison a step  
behind him, and Fleischer and Jane closely following. At the  
door Jane catches Mike.

MIKE  
Jane—

She casts a glance at Sam, who appears entirely disinterested.

JANE  
You go—I'll stay.

He nods once, and then is out the door along with Harrison and  
Fleischer. Jane closes the door, and turns to Sam.

JANE (CONT'D)  
(angrily)  
Well, you don't seem very  
concerned.

SAM  
(scornful)  
Wow, I wonder why.

JANE  
Sam!

SAM  
She's not going to do it, Mom.  
It's just a stunt, to get everyone  
running after her.

Jane shakes her head in frustration.

CUT TO:

INT. MIKE'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER

Mike looks over, disapproving, when Harrison jumps into the  
passenger seat.

HARRISON  
(adamant)  
Look, if you want me out of this  
car, you're going to have to take  
the time to throw me out.

Mike considers it—briefly—and then starts the car.

CUT TO:

EXT. KENNEDY HIGH ATHLETIC FIELD

The imaginary Clarence is again by Brooke's side.

CLARENCE  
Can we continue our conversation  
now?

BROOKE  
I don't remember having a  
conversation.

CLARENCE  
Come on! Things are looking up,  
right? Sam is back where she's  
supposed to be. No damage done.

BROOKE  
Are you serious? No damage  
done?

CLARENCE  
Okay, maybe I was being a little  
big-picture-y there. But, really,  
Brooke...

BROOKE  
(sighing)  
Jane was right. That's the bottom  
line.

CLARENCE  
Jane was right about WHAT?

BROOKE  
(musing)  
It shouldn't have happened. None  
of it...none of it should have  
happened. I should've died, in  
the hospital...I never should've  
walked out of there. Then...Sam  
and Harrison would...have a life  
together...

CLARENCE  
You don't know that.

BROOKE  
I saw it.

CLARENCE  
(annoyed)  
You saw what you wanted to see.  
You saw one of a, a million  
possibilities. For all you know,  
Sam and Harrison could've screwed  
up their relationship all by  
themselves, without any help from  
you.

BROOKE  
(peering at him)  
Why are you HERE?

CLARENCE  
Hey, you're imagining me,  
remember? I'm part of you.  
You're trying to talk yourself out  
of this.

BROOKE  
(chuckling humorlessly)  
Maybe I'm trying to talk myself  
into it.

CLARENCE  
Come on, Brooke. If you REALLY  
wanted to do this, you'd've  
already done it.

With one smooth motion, she snaps the cylinder shut and cocks  
the hammer.

BROOKE  
Like this?

CLARENCE  
(throws up his hands)  
Whoa, WHOA! Okay, you made your  
point. Jeez...

CUT TO:

INT. MIKE'S CAR - MOVING

A tense silence fills the air between Mike and Harrison.  
Then, abruptly:

MIKE  
Would you mind telling me what the  
hell you thought you were doing?

Harrison shrugs helplessly.

HARRISON  
I was...I was going to break up  
with Sam. Really. But, she  
was... And then, nine-eleven  
happened, and she was hurting so  
bad... It just—it never seemed  
like a good time.

MIKE  
(shortly)  
Before she walked in on you and  
Brooke would've been a good time.

HARRISON  
(grimly)  
Yeah.

CUT TO:

EXT. KENNEDY HIGH ATHLETIC FIELD

Clarence is pacing.

CLARENCE  
Okay...what about Harrison? You  
gotta know how broken up he's  
going to be if you go through with  
this. You really want him to  
spend the rest of his life blaming  
himself for your death?

BROOKE  
But, it's not his fault.

CLARENCE  
(snorts)  
Yeah, and people never blame  
themselves for things that aren't  
their fault.

He gestures emphatically to underscore his point.

CUT TO:

EXT. KENNEDY HIGH

Mike's car pulls into the empty parking lot, and Mike and  
Harrison jump out. A couple of moments later Fleischer joins  
them.

MIKE  
(exasperated)  
This doesn't make any sense—the  
school's locked up.

HARRISON  
Maybe she's around back—the  
field's open. So's the quad.

Fleischer makes a command decision, pointing to Mike, Harrison  
and himself in turn.

FLEISCHER  
All right, we split up. Left—  
center—right.

The three of them take off in different directions.

CUT TO:

EXT KENNEDY HIGH ATHLETIC FIELD

CLARENCE  
(cajoling)  
Ya gotta work with me, Brooke, I'm  
running out of arguments here.

BROOKE  
Good, does that mean you'll be  
finished soon?

He squats down directly in front of her.

CLARENCE  
I'm telling you, I don't need the  
company, really. I'm going to be  
seeing you anyway in, what,  
seventy or eighty years? I can  
wait; I'm doing fine without you.

She doesn't even bother to respond to that.

CLARENCE (CONT'D)  
Okay—no more jokes. Look at that  
thing in your hand, Brooke. Just  
LOOK at it. It's not just the  
easy way out. It's the cowardly  
way out.

BROOKE  
Yeah, it is.  
(looking up)  
What's your point?

CLARENCE  
(earnestly)  
You're better than this, Brooke.  
You know it. You have so much to  
live for—you have things to live  
for you don't even KNOW about yet.  
Just one squeeze of the trigger,  
that'll all be gone. One more  
addition to the cosmic junk heap  
of what-might-have-beens.

Clarence straightens up and steps back.

CLARENCE (CONT'D)  
Okay. I'm done.

BROOKE  
(blinking)  
You are?

CLARENCE  
Yep. I've said my peace, or  
whatever. Now it's up to you.

BROOKE  
Oh. Well...good.

CLARENCE  
It's your choice, Brooke. It  
always has been. Just—don't  
screw this up, okay?

Brooke squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, and when she opens  
them again, Clarence is gone. She looks over the revolver,  
turning it this way and that...and then, slowly, raises it to  
her temple.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE


	3. Act Two

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

EXT. KENNEDY HIGH ATHLETIC FIELD - CONTINUOUS

Below and behind Brooke, Mike jogs around the corner of one of  
the school buildings; spotting her, he pulls up short at the  
edge of the grass.

MIKE  
BROOKE!

Brooke looks over her shoulder, then clambers to her feet, the  
gun in her hand. Slowly, carefully, Mike starts up the gentle  
rise towards her, holding out his hands in a pleading gesture.

BROOKE  
Daddy?

MIKE  
(tearing up)  
Brooke...please...

From behind, Harrison and Fleischer come running, joining up  
at the bottom of the rise.

MIKE (CONT'D)  
Honey...just...give me the gun...

Emotionally drained, Brooke just stands there, eyes downcast.

Finally she lifts the gun. Everyone tenses—but she uncocks  
the hammer and flips the cylinder open, letting the bullets  
spill onto the ground, followed by the revolver itself as it  
slips from her hand. Mike covers the distance between them at  
a dead run, and crushes her against him in a bear-hug.

Below, Fleischer slaps Harrison on the shoulder. Harrison  
nods and sticks his hands in his pockets; then turns and walks  
away.

DISSOLVE TO:

EST. MCQUEEN HOUSE - LATE AFTERNOON

A warm, golden shot.

CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN UPSTAIRS HALLWAY

Jane waits anxiously as Mike comes out of Brooke's room and  
closes the door behind him.

JANE  
Is she going to be okay?

MIKE  
I think so.

JANE  
(grimacing)  
Now for the hard part.

CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN LIVING ROOM - LATER

Mike and Jane are sitting on the sofa. Across from them is  
Sam, who is in the process of erupting.

SAM  
Wait, hold on just a minute! How  
did I get to be the bad guy in  
this little psycho-drama?  
BROOKE'S the one who slept with MY  
boyfriend behind MY back!

JANE  
We're not condoning what Brooke  
did.

Jane looks to Mike for confirmation.

MIKE  
Of course not. And believe me, we  
are going to have a long talk with  
her.

SAM  
Sure, when she can "handle" it.  
Poor Brooke. Fragile little  
Brooke. That's all anyone cares  
about.

JANE  
Look, we know this is difficult.  
But you two are just going to have  
to talk it through and get past  
it. In the meantime—

Jane reaches into Sam's duffel bag, which is on the coffee  
table between them, and pulls out her wad of cash.

SAM  
HEY! That's mine!

Sam makes a futile grab for the money.

JANE  
Mike and I have talked about this.  
You can have it back, when we're  
convinced that you're not just  
going to run off again.

Sam runs her hands through her hair in total frustration.  
Then she jumps to her feet and snatches up the duffel bag.

SAM  
(dripping venom)  
You might be able to force me to  
live in this house. But you can't  
make me pretend not to hate her  
guts.

She stomps off towards the stairs. Halfway there, she stops  
and turns back.

SAM (CONT'D)  
And just FYI? We are never—  
EVER—going to get past this.

Sam runs up the stairs, while Jane sighs, and leans against  
Mike.

DISSOLVE TO:

EST. KENNEDY HIGH - MORNING

An overcast day.

CUT TO:

INT. GIRLS' RESTROOM

Sam and Lily are sitting on the tuffet.

SAM  
...so, now I'm like a prisoner. I  
can't believe this is happening to  
me.

LILY  
(absently)  
Uh-huh.

SAM  
Lily, you're not even listening to  
me.

LILY  
Oh...I'm sorry, Sam.  
(pause)  
Josh and I are thinking of seeing  
a marriage counselor.

Sam immediately refocuses.

SAM  
What? This isn't about Josh  
playing football, is it?

LILY  
(grimacing)  
I wish. You remember about four  
years ago—Carmen and I were  
sleeping over, there was this  
awful movie on—

Sam's mouth drops.

SAM  
Did you—?

LILY  
Yeah. Screaming, hysterics, the  
whole nine yards.

SAM  
Oh, my God...how did Josh react?

LILY  
Well, he was scared to death,  
obviously. And then I kinda had  
to tell him everything.

SAM  
Then—that's good, right? It's  
all out in the open.

LILY  
No, it's not good, Sam. He's  
reacting exactly the way I was  
afraid he would—he thinks that if  
he's not saccharine-sweet twenty  
four-seven, I'm going to go  
bonkers. Which I'm actually going  
to do if he doesn't quit it.  
Hence, the marriage counselor.

SAM  
I'm sorry, Lily. I'm sure the two  
of you are going to be fine.

Sam puts an arm around her shoulder and hugs her.

CUT TO:

INT. SOCIAL STUDIES CLASS - LATER

Sam, Brooke and Harrison are all sitting as far away from each  
other as possible, forming a rough equilateral triangle.  
Osbourne is, as usual, leading a meandering, philosophical  
discussion.

OSBOURNE  
...Ms. Cherry, I believe that we  
can discuss the moral failings of  
politicians without resorting to  
specific examples, which shall  
only invite lawsuits to be filed  
against the school.

MARY CHERRY  
Just tryin' to help. Ya know,  
Mama knows where all the skeletons  
are.

OSBOURNE  
I appreciate that, Ms. Cherry.  
Now—

All heads turn as the classroom door bangs open, and Carmen  
rushes in.

CARMEN  
(sheepish)  
Sorry I'm late. I got...held up.

OSBOURNE  
(dryly)  
Well, I'm sure whatever it was was  
far more important than my meager  
instruction.

Carmen takes a seat as unobtrusively as possible.

OSBOURNE (CONT'D)  
Now, as I was saying... We've  
covered moral ambiguity as it  
concerns public figures. Now,  
let's talk about it in, say, the  
typical high school student.

LILY  
Us?

OSBOURNE  
There's no moral ambiguity in your  
life, Mrs. Ford?

LILY  
Well...

OSBOURNE  
I assure you, Mrs. Ford, I have no  
interest in tawdry details. This  
is merely a general discussion of  
morals and character.

BROOKE  
(jumping in)  
You know, everyone makes mistakes.  
I don't think that necessarily  
makes you a bad person.

Sam narrows her eyes at Brooke.

SAM  
I think depends on how big the  
mistake is. There's a difference  
between skipping a class, and,  
and...stealing someone's  
boyfriend.

BROOKE  
(pointedly)  
Some situations are more  
complicated than that. It's not  
always black and white.

SAM  
Sometimes it IS black and white.  
You know, right and wrong?

BROOKE  
Well, maybe sometimes there's a  
gray area, and things just get out  
of control!

SAM  
Maybe SOME people like to TELL  
themselves there's a gray area, so  
they don't have to feel guilty  
about—!

The increasingly heated exchange is abruptly cut off by the  
school bell.

OSBOURNE  
Well...this certainly has been  
interesting. Please remember that  
essays on the mass media's  
influence on political scandal are  
due tomorrow. Dismissed.

As the kids file out:

OSBOURNE (CONT'D)  
Miss McPherson?

Sam lingers behind, fidgeting.

OSBOURNE (CONT'D)  
That was quite a performance, Miss  
McPherson.

SAM  
I'm sorry, Mr. Osbourne.

OSBOURNE  
I do believe I detected a certain  
note of hostility?

SAM  
I understand, you don't want me to  
bring my personal problems to  
class.

OSBOURNE  
On the contrary, Miss McPherson.  
Though at first blush this might  
appear to be more within Ms. Ross'  
purview, you are free to bring  
whatever perspective you wish to  
this class. I appreciate  
stimulating discussion.  
(pause)  
That does NOT mean, however, that  
I am willing to referee a  
catfight. Am I clear?

SAM  
Yes, sir.

OSBOURNE  
(waving her away)  
Carry on, then.

As Sam leaves...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CAFETERIA - NOON

Brooke is mulling over the menu choices when Lily comes up to  
her.

BROOKE  
Oh, hey, how are you doing?

LILY  
Good, better. We—Josh and I are  
thinking about getting some  
professional help.

BROOKE  
You mean, like a therapist? Lily,  
I think that's a great idea.

LILY  
Really?

BROOKE  
Yes! They can really help you  
sort out your problems. All  
right, I admit in my case, I had  
to be dragged kicking and  
screaming to see one. But it was  
still a good thing. You know...  
(pause)  
...uh, nevermind.

LILY  
What?

BROOKE  
I was thinking maybe my dad knew  
someone. But whoever he and Mom  
were seeing, obviously they  
weren't very good.

LILY  
Oh.

BROOKE  
Hey, you and Josh have something  
really special going. Okay, maybe  
our parents had screwed-up  
marriages, but WE are clearly  
smarter than they are, right?

They both break out in laughter.

LILY  
So, what about you? How are you  
holding up?

BROOKE  
You mean, am I going to go jump  
off the roof?

LILY  
What?

BROOKE  
(shocked)  
You mean...someone didn't tell  
you?

LILY  
Tell me what? Brooke, what are  
you talking about?

BROOKE  
I...I almost did something really  
stupid. Look, I don't want to get  
into it here. Can we talk later?

LILY  
Sure, of course. Why don't you  
call me after school?

BROOKE  
(beaming)  
Thanks.

CUT TO:

INT. CAFETERIA - MOMENTS LATER

Lily sets her tray down at one of the tables and takes a seat.  
Sam, sitting across from her, drums her fingers on the table  
until Lily looks up.

LILY  
What?

SAM  
(annoyed)  
You tell me, Miss Judas. I saw  
you talking to HER.

Lily glances across the room to where Brooke is sitting.

LILY  
Sam...

SAM  
You're my best friend!

LILY  
I thought Harrison was your best  
friend.

SAM  
Harrison is a dead man walking—I  
just haven't figured out how yet.  
I don't wanna talk about him. I  
wanna talk about you, and the Slut  
Queen of Kennedy over there.

LILY  
(sighs)  
Sam, please don't talk like that.

SAM  
You know what she did! How can  
you be on HER side?

LILY  
I'm NOT on her side. Sam, PLEASE.  
Don't drag me into this. I told  
Brooke, and I'm telling you—I'm  
not choosing sides.

SAM  
Lily, come on! You barely know  
her! I mean, what do you owe her,  
anyway?

LILY  
(heated)  
Sam, SHE was there for me—!

Lily breaks off and looks away, immediately regretting her  
outburst.

SAM  
...and I wasn't.  
(burying her face)  
God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If  
I'd known...

LILY  
I know. I didn't mean anything.  
But, please, Sam, I'm asking you  
to respect my feelings in this.

SAM  
(grousing)  
You've been MY friend a lot longer  
than you've been hers...

Lily looks at her reproachfully. Sam holds up her hands in  
surrender.

SAM (CONT'D)  
Okay, okay—this is me respecting  
your feelings.

LILY  
Thank you.

SAM  
I don't have to like it, though.

Lily just rolls her eyes at her.

CUT TO:

INT. JOSH AND LILY'S APARTMENT - AFTERNOON

Lily emerges from the kitchen with the phone cradled under her  
chin, while trying to pop the lid off of a jar with both  
hands.

LILY  
Yes, I'm listening, Brooke... Uh  
huh...

Suddenly her eyes go wide.

LILY (CONT'D)  
You did WHAT?

Thus distracted, she goes walking right into—and over—the  
back of the sofa, tumbling out of sight.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. BROOKE'S ROOM

Brooke, sitting on her bed, listens with a quizzical  
expression on her face.

BROOKE  
Lily? Lily, are you all right?

Meanwhile, Lily picks herself up off the floor, settling onto  
the sofa.

LILY  
I'm fine. Are YOU all right?

BROOKE  
I...guess so.

LILY  
What HAPPENED?

BROOKE  
Dad showed up, somehow, but...I  
think I kinda talked myself out of  
it before that. Anyway, don't  
worry, I'm not going to go jogging  
on the freeway or anything.

LILY  
Well, I HOPE not, Brooke! Listen,  
if you're ever feeling like that  
again, and I mean even for a split  
second, you call me, okay?

BROOKE  
Yeah, okay.

LILY  
I MEAN it.

BROOKE  
(grinning)  
Okay, okay, I promise.

LILY  
Good. Hey, how's your essay  
coming?

BROOKE  
The media and politics thing?  
It's done—I turned it in to Mr.  
Osbourne before class this  
morning.

LILY  
Show-off.

BROOKE  
Well, it was either do the essay  
last night, or sit in my room and  
slowly go insane.

LILY  
Hey, remember—

BROOKE  
I know, okay.

Mike raps on the doorframe, and pokes his head through the  
slightly ajar door.

BROOKE (CONT'D)  
Oop—parental sighting. Gotta go.

Brooke hangs up the phone, and looks at Mike expectantly. He  
swings the door open to reveal Jane standing next to him.

MIKE  
Can we come in? We really need to  
talk.

Brooke groans, and falls over onto the bed.

CUT TO:

EXT. MCQUEEN HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Sam is trudging up the walk, when Harrison steps out from  
behind some foliage and catches her by the elbow.

HARRISON  
Sam...

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO


	4. Act Three

ACT THREE

FADE IN:

INT. BROOKE'S ROOM

Brooke is sitting on her bed, hands folded, with Mike sitting  
across from her, and Jane standing next to him.

MIKE  
Now, I know things are going to be  
difficult for a while. But sooner  
or later, Sam is going to calm  
down.

BROOKE  
Dad, I really don't think so.

JANE  
Honey, we know it's hard, but...we  
think you take the first step.

BROOKE  
What?

JANE  
Apologize to Sam.

Brooke starts to say something, but Jane overrides her.

JANE (CONT'D)  
We're not saying to make any  
elaborate...act of contrition,  
just...explain to her that it  
didn't mean anything, that it was  
just one mistake...

Brooke goes ashen at that, and Jane peers at her closely.

JANE (CONT'D)  
It...WAS just one mistake...wasn't  
it?

Brooke hides her eyes behind her hand.

JANE (CONT'D)  
Oh...

MIKE  
Brooke, how...long have you  
been...?

BROOKE  
(sighs)  
Since before school started.

MIKE  
You and Harrison have been...for—  
(counting)  
—two months.

BROOKE  
Yeah.

JANE  
Well, obviously you can't continue  
this relationship.

Mike stands up and takes Jane by the arm.

MIKE  
Can I talk to you for a second?

He leads her out of the room.

CUT TO:

EXT. MCQUEEN HOUSE

Meanwhile, Sam is standing on the walk, glaring at Harrison.

SAM  
Oh, you really like living  
dangerously, don't you?

HARRISON  
Sam, I just want to explain—

SAM  
Explain? No, thank you—I saw  
all the explanation I needed.

HARRISON  
Please, I...I never wanted to hurt  
you, Sam.

She stares at him, incredulous, shaking with rage.

SAM  
(voice breaking)  
You...you never wanted to HURT  
me? God DAMN you, Harrison! I  
was HAPPY! And then YOU...you  
come along with your declarations  
of love, and, and... How DARE  
you say you never wanted to hurt  
me! Why did you ever have to  
tell me you loved me? You  
BASTARD!

She pulls the backpack off her shoulder and swings it at him,  
knocking him to the ground.

SAM (CONT'D)  
Don't...EVER...come near me again.

She storms off, leaving him sitting on the ground, miserable.

CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN UPSTAIRS HALLWAY

Mike and Jane are conferencing in hushed tones just outside  
Brooke's door.

MIKE  
I thought we decided a few months  
ago that we weren't going to tell  
our daughters who they could and  
couldn't see.

JANE  
This is different. This isn't  
just some guy—this is Harrison.  
How is this relationship supposed  
to heal if Brooke is constantly  
throwing Harrison in Sam's face?

Behind them, the door opens, and Brooke moves past them and  
towards the stairs.

MIKE  
(calling)  
Honey, we're not finished.

BROOKE  
(not looking back)  
Yes we are.

CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Brooke jogs down the stairs, as Mike and Jane appear on the  
landing.

MIKE  
Brooke—

Near the foot of the stairs, she stops and looks back up at  
them.

BROOKE  
Look, I love Harrison. And he  
loves me. And if we keep seeing  
each other, that's going to be our  
decision.

Brooke turns ahead again—and comes nearly face-to-face with  
Sam, who has come through the front door in time to hear her.  
Sam, a jumble of rage and grief, just shakes her head and runs  
up the stairs, brushing past Brooke.

CUT TO:

INT. JOSH AND LILY'S APARTMENT

Lily is curled up on the sofa, watching the television.

INSERT: THE TV SCREEN

The television is showing a commercial for—what else?—a  
marriage counselor.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)  
Six months ago, Jack and Jill were  
fighting like cats and dogs! But  
now, they're happy as clams,  
thanks to Dr. Donahue's patented  
techniques. Let us put the bliss  
back in your wedded bliss—call  
today!

Lily considers it for a moment, and then reaches for a pad and  
pen, and jots the number down.

CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN DINING ROOM - EVENING

A grim scene: Mike, Jane, Brooke and Sam sitting around the  
table, eating in complete silence.

MIKE  
So, does anyone want to talk about  
their day?

BROOKE/SAM  
(simultaneously)  
No.

The sound of each other's voices send the two girls glaring at  
each other.

MIKE  
Come on...nothing happened today?

SAM  
We had an interesting discussion  
in social studies today...

JANE  
(hopeful)  
Really? What was it about?

Sam turns a cold eye on Brooke.

SAM  
(grating)  
People's lack of morals.

JANE  
(annoyed)  
Sam, if that's the way you're  
going to be, maybe you shouldn't  
be sitting at the table.

SAM  
Fine.

Sam throws her napkin down, scoots her chair back with a sharp  
screech, and walks away.

The phone rings, and Mike gets up.

MIKE  
I'll get it.

He steps over to the phone and picks it up.

MIKE (CONT'D)  
(into the phone)  
Hello?... What—wait, hang on...  
Kelly? Slow down!

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. KELLY FOSTER'S CONDO

where Brooke's mother is pacing, incensed.

KELLY  
No, I will NOT slow down! How  
dare you keep me in the dark about  
our daughter?

MIKE  
(flustered)  
Wait, I wasn't trying to hide  
anything! I swear, it's just been  
really hectic around here.

BROOKE  
(getting up)  
Is that mom?

Brooke walks over and takes the phone from her father.

BROOKE (CONT'D)  
(into the phone)  
Mom?

KELLY  
Brooke! What happened to you?

BROOKE  
I'm fine, Mom, really.

KELLY  
It doesn't sound that way to me!  
I think I should come down there.

BROOKE  
Please don't. I'm really all  
right.

KELLY  
If you're playing around with  
guns, you're not all right!

BROOKE  
I wasn't—how did you even find  
out about that?

KELLY  
That's the other thing—I have to  
get an e-mail from Sam to find out  
that you're in trouble?

BROOKE  
You...WHAT?

Steaming, Brooke thrusts the phone at Mike and storms off.

CUT TO:

INT. SAM'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Sam is typing away when Brooke throws the door open.

BROOKE  
How DARE you e-mail my mother!

SAM  
(mock innocently)  
What, was it a secret? Sorry.

Brooke seems ready to explode.

BROOKE  
OOOOH!

She tromps off, slamming the door shut behind her. Sam has a  
good laugh before going back to her work.

DISSOLVE TO:

EST. MCQUEEN HOUSE - MORNING

Warm, glowing sunlight bathes the house.

CUT TO:

INT. SAM'S ROOM

Sam yawns, stretches, throws back the covers and rolls out of  
bed. Bleary-eyed, she stumbles across the room to her desk,  
where her laptop is set up. She looks down at a blank  
screen—which wakes her up instantly.

SAM  
(gasping)  
What? Oh, no, no, no...

In an increasing panic, she taps at the keys, to no avail.  
The only thing alive on the machine is a solid red light in  
one corner, which she peers at wonderingly.

SAM (CONT'D)  
Battery? How can the battery  
be...?

She bends down and looks under the desk, to find the AC cord  
lying loose on the floor. With a snarl, she straightens up,  
clenching her fists.

SAM (CONT'D)  
BROOKE!

She goes storming out of the room.

CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

Sam emerges from her room just in time to see Brooke disappear  
into the bathroom, and runs after her.

CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN UPSTAIRS BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Brooke is standing at the mirror when Sam bursts in, ready to  
kill.

SAM  
YOU!

Brooke turns around, an innocent expression plastered on her  
face.

BROOKE  
(looking around)  
Me?

SAM  
You unplugged my computer!

BROOKE  
My, Sam, I don't know what you're  
talking about.

Sam takes a menacing step forward.

SAM  
Why, you little...! I worked half  
the night on that essay!

BROOKE  
(mocking)  
Aww, the one for Mr. Osbourne?  
Did you lose it?

With a scream, Sam rushes her.

CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

Responding to the commotion, Mike and Jane come running up the  
stairs, getting to the top just in time to see a plastic  
bottle of something-or-other come flying through the bathroom  
door and bounce off the wall beyond. Exchanging a glance,  
they high-tail it for the bathroom.

CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN UPSTAIRS BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

When Mike and Jane get to the bathroom door, they see the  
girls squared off against each other, viciously throwing  
things at each other's heads.

JANE  
Sam! Stop it!

MIKE  
Brooke!

Not listening, Sam hurls the last bottle in her hand, and then  
runs straight for Brooke, slamming her up against the wall and  
getting her hands up around her throat. Mike and Jane are  
both there in a second; it takes both of them to pry Sam off,  
Jane holding her back in a bear hug while Mike supports  
Brooke, who is bent over, gasping and rubbing her throat.  
Jane holds Sam by the arms and shakes her furiously.

JANE  
(outraged)  
SAM!

SAM  
(shaking)  
She ruined my homework  
assignment!

BROOKE  
You had no right going to my mom  
and telling her everything!

SAM  
YOU had no right sleeping with  
Harrison!

BROOKE  
(defiant)  
Yeah, well, Harrison loves ME, not  
YOU, and I'll sleep with him  
anytime I feel like!

Sam lunges at Brooke again, and Jane can barely hold her back.

MIKE  
THAT'S ENOUGH, BOTH OF YOU!

The girls subside, just a bit. Mike nods his head at Jane,  
who turns Sam around and forcibly pushes her out of the  
bathroom. Then he turns to Brooke.

MIKE (CONT'D)  
(forced calm)  
Brooke, tell me, please, that I  
DIDN'T just hear you say that you  
would sleep with Harrison anytime  
you felt like it?

She thinks that over.

BROOKE  
(gamely)  
Okay. You didn't just hear me say  
that I'd sleep with Harrison  
anytime I felt like it.

MIKE  
Brooke!

BROOKE  
I'm sorry, Dad! I didn't mean it  
that way. I meant...I'm tired of  
feeling guilty about this.  
Harrison DOES love me, and SAM is  
not going to get in the way of  
that anymore.

She stands there, hands on hips, defiant. Mike, knowing  
intransigence when he sees it, just rubs his eyes tiredly.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT THREE


	5. Act Four

ACT FOUR

FADE IN:

EST. KENNEDY HIGH - MORNING

A bright, shiny day.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY

Harrison is walking down the corridor when he is grabbed and  
spun into a quiet nook by—as it turns out—Brooke.

HARRISON  
Brooke, w-what are you doing?

BROOKE  
Don't you think we need to talk?

HARRISON  
(looking downcast)  
I'm not...sure what there is to  
say.

She holds out her hands helplessly.

BROOKE  
You mean—your feelings for me  
have changed now?

HARRISON  
No! Of course not. But, after  
everything—

BROOKE  
I love you, Harrison. And I'm not  
going to let Sam control my life  
anymore.

She presses up against him, but he pulls away and holds her at  
a safe distance.

HARRISON  
Brooke, please...

BROOKE  
What? Are you afraid Sam's going  
to see us? It's not a secret  
anymore.

HARRISON  
I just—I don't want to keep  
hurting her.

Brooke moves in again, wrapping her arms around him.

BROOKE  
She's just going to have to—

Something makes Harrison looks away sharply; and, sure enough,  
when Brooke turns her head to follow his gaze, Sam is standing  
in the corridor beyond, staring at them with an anguished look  
on her face. Then she tears herself away, walking off  
quickly. Instinctively, Harrison disengages himself from  
Brooke and takes a few steps after Sam before stopping  
himself. He turns back, too late: bleakly, Brooke waves at  
him dismissively, and runs off in the other direction.

CUT TO:

INT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE - LATER

Josh and Lily are sitting on a comfortable couch in a  
luxurious office.

JOSH  
I can't believe we skipped school  
for this.

LILY  
(hushed)  
It's the only time I could get an  
appointment, Josh. And shhh—she  
might hear you.

JOSH  
Lil, we've been talking for forty  
five minutes; she hasn't said  
three words. And now she's got  
some miracle solution? I think  
this is a scam.

LILY  
I admit it seems a little strange,  
but let's at least hear her out.  
Okay?

JOSH  
If she ever says anything.

Lily gives him a dirty look.

JOSH (CONT'D)  
Okay, okay...

The therapist walks in.

LILY  
Dr. Donahue, are you sure you can  
help us?

DR. DONAHUE  
Of course, Lily. It won't be  
easy, but I'm confident that, in  
time, you and Josh here will be  
able to move past all your  
problems. Now, if you'll follow  
me, I think I've found the ideal  
therapeutic method for you two.

Josh and Lily get up and obediently follow Dr. Donahue out the  
door.

CUT TO:

INT. THERAPY ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The doctor leads Josh and Lily down a corridor and past a  
series of glass-enclosed cubicles. In each cubicle is a  
couple, all of whom are fighting in various ways: boxing,  
wrestling, judo.

LILY  
Dr. Donahue, why are all these  
people fighting?

DR. DONAHUE  
They're working through their  
anger issues.

JOSH  
I hope we don't have to do that.  
I'm not going to start throwing  
punches at Lily.

DR. DONAHUE  
Oh, don't worry. You won't be  
doing anything like that.

JOSH  
Whew.

EFFECT CUT TO:

INT. A THERAPY CUBICLE

where Josh and Lily are standing—decked out in full fencing  
gear, and holding foils.

JOSH  
Okay, I feel stupid.

DR. DONAHUE  
It'll pass, trust me. This is the  
perfect environment for you and  
Lily to work through your  
problems.

JOSH  
Lily, are you sure about this?

LILY  
Let's at least try it, Josh.  
(to Dr. Donahue)  
I'm sorry.

DR. DONAHUE  
No, no, this is exactly what you  
need to be doing. Lily, how do  
you feel about Josh's reluctance?

LILY  
Well...I mean, I understand.  
Sometimes Josh doesn't like to try  
new things.

JOSH  
(interposing)  
What? I try new things lots of  
times. Even when they're stupid.

DR. DONAHUE  
So, Josh, how do YOU feel about  
Lily's opinion.

JOSH  
Look, every week with her, it's  
something—some new...fad, or  
cause, or—

LILY  
Wait a minute, what do you mean,  
"stupid"? My ideas aren't  
stupid!

JOSH  
Yeah, like the time you wanted to  
replace all the water fountains in  
the school with organic bird  
feeders?

LILY  
That was NOT stupid! It would've  
been beneficial to migratory  
patterns!

She takes a swipe at him with her foil.

JOSH  
Hey! Don't take it out on me,  
just because your ideas are  
whacko!

He knocks her foil aside with his.

LILY  
My ideas are NOT whacko! You're  
just looking for an excuse to  
settle back into your non  
threatening, non-stimulating, non  
intellectual existence!

JOSH  
Oh, yeah?

LILY  
Yeah!

And, just like that, they are off into a full-fledged fencing  
match, while Dr. Donahue looks on, nodding her approval.

CUT TO:

EXT. PARKING LOT - LATER

Josh and Lily are walking back to their car, rather subdued.

LILY  
Are you thinking what I'm  
thinking?

He sneaks a peek at her.

JOSH  
I dunno. What are you thinking?

Lily goes a couple more steps, and finally spits it out.

LILY  
Man, was that a waste of time.

JOSH  
(relieved)  
Completely. Totally.

LILY  
(rolling her eyes)  
All right, maybe that idea was a  
LITTLE whacko.

JOSH  
Lil...do you really think I don't  
want to try new things?

LILY  
Sometimes I think so, yeah.

JOSH  
I just need time to adjust, that's  
all.

They go on for a few moments in silence.

LILY  
You know, I still have a problem.

JOSH  
Lily...

LILY  
I'm serious. Normal people don't  
have panic attacks. I think...I'm  
going to have to find a REAL  
doctor.

JOSH  
Hey, I'll always be there with  
you, wherever you need to go.

LILY  
(hugging his arm)  
I know.

JOSH  
Man, school would've been better  
than this.

LILY  
(laughing)  
Really. I bet everyone else is  
having more fun than we are.

CUT TO:

INT. SOCIAL STUDIES CLASS

For once, the students are sitting in neat rows, silent, bent  
over quiz papers, while Osbourne works at his own desk.

A timer on Osbourne's desk dings, and he looks up.

OSBOURNE  
Pencils down, please, and pass  
your papers forward.

As the kids are doing that:

CARMEN  
Mr. Osbourne? I thought you said  
that tests like this were a waste  
of time.

Osbourne rises from his seat, and circles around his desk to  
his customary place in front of the students.

OSBOURNE  
"A colossal waste of time" was my  
exact phrasing, Miss Ferrera.  
Unfortunately, the administration  
of this school does not share that  
sentiment, and thus I am  
occasionally forced to produce  
stacks of quiz papers.

BROOKE  
But—

Osbourne turns his head in Brooke's direction.

OSBOURNE  
Yes, Miss McQueen?

BROOKE  
I—I'm just not sure the quiz was  
fair.

OSBOURNE  
(neutrally)  
Oh? How so?

BROOKE  
(struggling)  
Well...it just...there didn't seem  
to be any clear-cut answers to any  
of the questions.

OSBOURNE  
Quite correct, Miss McQueen. All  
of the questions required the use  
of your own judgment.  
(to the entire class)  
Therefore, I shall review your  
papers, and should your answers  
make a modicum of sense, you shall  
receive full credit.  
(pause)  
Just because the administration  
requires these little tests, does  
not mean you should miss an  
opportunity to expand your ability  
to reason.

He reaches behind him, and gathers up another stack of papers.

OSBOURNE (CONT'D)  
And, fortunately, I was able to  
use the time to finish grading  
your essays.

Osbourne walks up and down the aisles between desks, handing  
out papers to the kids.

OSBOURNE (CONT'D)  
I fear some of you may be  
disappointed with your marks.  
However, I am quite strict in the  
criteria which I use; and Miss  
McQueen set the grade curve early.

He stops by Brooke's desk and hands her paper down.

OSBOURNE (CONT'D)  
Well done, Miss McQueen.

Brooke takes her paper, beams at the "100" on it and tucks it  
away. Meanwhile, Sam looks at her "54" and hangs her head.

There is a polite rap on the classroom door; it opens and  
George walks in. Osbourne walks up to the teacher's desk to  
meet him. George hands Osbourne a small slip of paper, which  
Osbourne unfolds and reads.

OSBOURNE (CONT'D)  
(looking up)  
Transferring from Ms. Nishino's  
class?

GEORGE  
Yeah, my guidance counselor, he  
thought I'd do better here.

OSBOURNE  
Well. Always room for one more.  
I shall expect you tomorrow  
morning, Mr. Austin.

GEORGE  
Great.

OSBOURNE  
There is one thing. Many people  
subscribe to the notion that  
athletes are somehow inherently  
less intellectually capable than  
others. I am not one of those  
people. I shall expect you to  
perform at a high level of  
competence while in this class.  
Am I clear?

GEORGE  
(nodding)  
Yes, sir.

OSBOURNE  
Good. Tomorrow, then.

Sam just shakes her head in resignation at this exchange. The  
bell rings.

OSBOURNE (CONT'D)  
Class dismissed.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY

Osbourne emerges from his classroom, with Sam on his heels.

SAM  
...please, Mr. Osbourne, please,  
it really was a great paper. But  
my computer was sabotaged, and I  
lost it, and I had to recreate the  
whole thing in, like, half an  
hour, and I swear if you give me  
another chance I'll make it even  
better than it was the first time.  
Come on, Mr. Osbourne, please give  
me just this one chance?

OSBOURNE  
I'm sincerely sorry, Miss  
McPherson. But I simply cannot  
begin making exceptions concerning  
deadlines. It is a slippery slope  
which can lead only to class  
anarchy, and thus I do not intend  
to step foot on that slope.

SAM  
But—

Sam starts to plead her case again, but Osbourne holds up a  
hand to silence her.

OSBOURNE  
There will be many opportunities  
over the coming months for you to  
improve your grade, Miss  
McPherson. The tragedy, as it  
were, is minor.

Osbourne walks off, leaving Sam standing there with a  
miserable expression on her face. After a moment, she shakes  
her head in despair and runs off in the opposite direction.

And a moment after that, Miss Glass appears from around a  
corner, wearing a satisfied smirk.

GLASS  
(sing-song)  
I smell trouble...

She sticks her hands in her lab coat pockets and saunters off,  
humming to herself.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATER

Role reversal: This time, it's Brooke who's pulled aside by  
Harrison.

BROOKE  
(tiredly)  
Harrison...

HARRISON  
I thought you wanted to talk.

BROOKE  
You know what I don't want? I  
don't want to watch you running  
after Sam, time after time.

HARRISON  
I'm sorry, okay? I mean, I was in  
love with Sam for, I don't even  
know how long. I just need a  
little time. Okay?

BROOKE  
(cautiously)  
No more avoiding me? No more  
pushing me away?

HARRISON  
No... I mean...I just don't know  
how comfortable I am with this  
right now.

BROOKE  
(considers)  
I could help with that.

She presses up against him.

BROOKE (CONT'D)  
Besides...don't you miss me?

HARRISON  
(complaining)  
That's not fair.

She wags her eyebrows at him.

BROOKE  
(grinning)  
I know.

She finds his hand, and leads him off down the corridor.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT FOUR

THE END


End file.
